NinWake
by Rasberry Jam
Summary: Younger Iruka broods over his life, while Kakashi manages to give him a goal. ~ Shounen ai?


**.Ninwake.**

(ninja reason)

**Disclaimers**: I don't own Naruto nor it's characters and places. It's all part of Kishimoto's manga with the same name. And they belong to their respective proprietor. Naruto © Kishimoto.

**Authors note**: Being in a really angsty mood, (I desperately tried to find someone with Pay Pal so I could buy doujinshi's which seconds after I had fixed everything was snagged under my nose, lady luck **is** a bitch!) and felt like writing some "what's the meaning" crap. LoL. So I did... and this is it. Seemed to turn out to an alternative "Kakashi and Iruka how they came to be" that ~Anata~ wanted to see. Well... this _might_ be it. Though I don't know. *shrugs*

**Warning**: Nothing really happens, lotsa implications, or maybe not. Friendly gestures anyone?

~

The sun was setting, slowly gliding down the horizon touching the treetops in the far-off distance. Iruka was standing alone on one of the more remote roofs in Konoha village watching it. For a moment everything seemed quite all right, though seconds later reality came crashing down on him again.

Everything appeared idealistic for an ordinary boy who was just graduated and had become Chuunin, like Iruka. Though Iruka wasn't "an ordinary boy" and no ordinary friend or family was there to congratulate him. That thought was the same that was currently nagging at him. His teammates, the rest of team 3, were at their family or friends (...since Iwa neither had a family) and he really didn't feel like tagging along this time. Always the fifth wheel it seemed.

He sat down, leaning on one of the strange pipes sticking out of the house, looking down on the activity below. In the distance he could se people go about, even as the day faded. When time had passed, Iruka not really knowing nor caring what time it was, he thought he saw some odd figures lurking at the outskirt near the house he was occupying seeming not to have come from the big gate but still very outlandish. He heard on their speech that they were definitely from Konoha. Then he realized why they had seemed odd; it was the fact that they were wearing Anbu clothes and their whole appearance was that of sneakiness and stealth. They were closing in on him heading down the street below him. He felt curiosity prick at him even though he knew that he should mind his own business.

Peering over the edge he saw what he determined was four figures jumping from one window frame to another. The only one he could really distinguish was a white figure, whom stood out in the dark, that suddenly came to a halt jumping down in unison with the others. They were standing totally still in the middle of the street, Iruka's nervousness forgotten and replaced with fascination. All of that changed when the white figure discreetly pointed towards a house, **the** same house that Iruka was seated on. Actually he seemed to point directly towards Iruka.

Swirling around he bound for the woods about five houses from where he had seen the Anbu, in the opposite direction of course. Was it a crime to have seen them? Had it been an idiotic choice to have bound off like a hunted animal when he was noticed, should he only have waved? Those thoughts had him kicking himself for running away.

"Ugh!"

"Take care! Later!" Kakashi nodded to his team as he jumped after the unidentified person who had seconds earlier lied on the roof. He was definitely dealing with a ninja. Soon the pursued slowed down, seeming to come at a halt in one of the trees. Barely audible sobs were heard from that same tree, quite a giveaway.

Sulking over his destiny, his past and how pathetical he was Iruka resolved that he shouldn't have passed the Chuunin exam. He felt totally miserable at that point.

"I'm such a weak, sad excuse for a Shinobi..."

"Sometimes one needs to understand how weak you are to become truly strong!" a voice interrupted. Iruka snorted explaining for the unrevealed person,

"If you are trying to cheer me up, you failed fatally!"

"Maa... I'm not trying to cheer you up," Kakashi insisted, "simply enlightening you on your future prospects, so if you're gonna be cynic you won't come far!"

Iruka fell silent at that, absentmindedly scratching his cheek lost in thought. Looking up, once more, at the person now seated across him he asked why the stranger was so concerned with his doings, and what he was doing it for, since he surely had better things and more important missions to take care off. Kakashi simply smiled, behind the mask, at that and persisted on introduce himself and with a short,

"I 'troubled myself' following you since I smell my own" which puzzled Iruka, the strange Anbu spoke in riddles and seemed to enjoy Iruka's confusion. Kakashi also then hastily added that an Anbu should never be discovered, at least not by enemies, not stressing that matter too much. And so he smiled. Again. This time Iruka thought he saw just that at any rate, as Kakashi seemed to smile with his eyes though they were hard to make out in the darkness.

"I won't tell the others about who saw me and my Anbu team. So if you feel like talking a bit, I'd **love** to know your name and what's troubling you..." This made Iruka both suspicious and embarrassed, as Kakashi seemed to be too good to be true. Being the first person to actually ask if he wanted to talk about his feelings.

"I'm Iruka..." he made a pause, used to the comments on his name, though when none came he explained that he had recently become Chuunin but that he didn't have a goal since no one pressured him to do better. That earned him an arm around his shoulder and a Kakashi that Reassuringly said,

"But as a rule ninjas aren't suppose to have goals since that can worsen their performance and achievements" after that lecture he noticed that Iruka did seem more sullen and he added that what he meant was that there was no wrong in not having a goal... "So instead you should start appreciate your own value and start setting small goals if you think that your life is too dull!"

"I like kids!" Iruka said half to himself, receiving a joking punch from the other.

"See, that's an excellent idea Iruka-sensei!" Blushing Iruka stuttered that he probably wouldn't make much of a teacher, which only acquired a gaze in response.

"What about you? Don't **you** have any goals?"

"Yeah I do actually, to protect my friends and teammates... other than that I only have the ambition to improve myself and appreciate what I have become" at that he laughed. Iruka didn't really understand, but sensed that it was a joke he wasn't quite in on.

Suddenly some of what Kakashi had said sunk in, many of the things the Anbu said about Iruka's goals was the same he himself had, though Iruka had never thought about protecting teammates as a goal. He voiced this to Kakashi who answered tactfully,

"That is one of the most important for me!" Iruka looked at his hands "we are kinda alike, even though we act differently and deal with things in diverse ways, I think..." Iruka nodded a little obscured.

He looked up after some hesitation, asking the question that Kakashi had been expecting, about what it's like being an Anbu. He shook his head, saying that it was confidential, and that he shouldn't answer such questions to a complete stranger.

That remark maked Iruka feel a little peeved since he gave away his inner sanctuary willingly. But pressing it a little explaining that he didn't care about mission status but rather personal experiences since the missions didn't matter to him.

Sneering Kakashi said,

"We save people like you if you hafta know!" quite blatant, making Iruka blush again.

"Well, it can be lonely and very dangerous, but you get used to being alone... furthermore you learn to trust your comrades"

"Speaking of which, aren't they looking for you?" laughter from both of them.

"Not really, they know I tend to pop up late... they say that the day I have a good reason for showing up late is the day I get a girl, though I doubt it," he winked at Iruka, once again amiss on the poor Chuunin who felt like it was one of those inside things. Thinking harder about it suddenly had Iruka not being able to make out if Kakashi meant that he doubted himself having a good excuse or having a girlfriend, or didn't both sum up to the same thing?

"There are a lot of risks being a Anbu... I guess that's part of the kick too!" Kakashi agreed with himself.

"..I would never ask what he looks like under the mask.." Iruka says wistfully.

"How would you know if you _ever_ asked? Isn't there a way to change that?" noticing that he had spoken out loud made the younger boy blush again, "either way, it's too dark for you to see my face even if..." at that Kakashi removed his mask leaving Iruka shocked sitting silently waiting for the spell to break. "So I'm sorry to say you wont be able to see me anyways!" Iruka frowned at that, what did Kakashi mean? That he actually would want a simple Chuunin to see his covered face. He didn't ponder this long but instead hesitantly lifted one hand from his lap, stopping at Kakashi's face. Kakashi was about to protest when one of Iruka's fingers by coincidence touched Kakashi's lower lip. The silence that followed was intense. Iruka felt his face burn with passion but he sustained in feeling Kakashi's face over, now with both hands. Accidentally he poked Kakashi in the eye making him yelp, but the white-haired silenced immediately with,

"My friends hear me even in great distance, it's not good to attain unwanted attention... cause then they'll come". Iruka apologized but asked why a slight poke had Kakashi shrieking like a girl. Not a very adequate way of putting it, but making it casual enough to pass as between friends, while he felt over the eye once more carefully. He felt along it, down Kakashi's chin where a scar seems to run, Kakashi repeating, "There are a lot of risks being a Anbu..." while he hastily brushed against Iruka's own scar across the bridge of his nose, his keen eyes seeing more than most in the darkness. The tranquility resumes, Iruka letting his hands drop once more, trying to make out the boy in front of him. Suddenly without warning a dog was sitting next to them on the branch making the young brown-haired scramble backwards almost falling off it, but Kakashi's hand shot out and got a firm hold of his collar. They seated themselves back comfortably on the branch again.

"It seems best fitted that you came back, the others were starting to wonder of your whereabouts... though I see you have everything under control, for once!" turning around the dog sluggishly added "I advice you to put on your mask" and with that he leaped away.

 "Ehem, that was one of my Nindogs" Kakashi explained apologetically, seemingly annoyed with the dogs way of making it seem as if he was babysitting Kakashi, pulling the mask up to conceal his face once more.

"...Oh" Understanding that the magic moment shared was over and that this new stranger-like-friend was about to leave Iruka grasped futilely at better words.

"Don't fret for me." Kakashi laughed, "I'll keep my eyes on you and your progress, so you better be doing a good job!" he encouraged with a wink. Iruka nodded and said,

"I won't worry, and **if** you did worry about me asking about the scar, **don't**... I won't, even if I hope to see you again!" with courteous nods Kakashi jumped off the tree Iruka waving behind him.

~The sun was moving up in the trees behind him casting beautiful golden glow on the village ahead of him, making the dawning of a new day seem especially promising,

"Sensei isn't _that_ bad..."

^ _Owari_

**Endnote:**

Now wasn't that cheesy and really ALTERNATIVE... thus meaning that none of this is **ever** gonna happen in the real manga, you wanna know how I know? I just do, take my word for it ^_~

I was quite pleased with the first draft of it that I did, but that on had only been like a mind map, so there was no meaning in posting it. Then when I finally came home from our summer-place all of it sounds like a load of jumble. But I wanted to post it... just because. So I hope it made some sense (I know it was a compact-kill-your-eye kinda text, but if anyone ever feels like fixing it, go ahead I would love it! Other than that... I just can't do it, it seems!) Gomen!

- Candy


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